Transformative Relational Therapy
Transformative Relational Therapy
What if the rules you've learned about love, intimacy, identity, and relationships are part of what's keeping you stuck?
Perhaps you're struggling to figure out who you are, what you want, or how to live more authentically.
Maybe you're in a relationship where you love each other but keep finding yourselves in the same painful conflicts or stalemates.
You may have lost desire, trust, or the freedom to be fully yourself, or feel profoundly lonely whether you're single or sharing a life with someone.
Or perhaps things are going pretty well, but you're bored or curious about how much more intimacy, pleasure, freedom, and connection might be possible.
I help individuals and partners challenge inherited expectations, heal old wounds, and develop the agency to create lives and relationships that genuinely serve them.
My work focuses on helping you become more grounded in yourself, discover what you want and need, and consciously choose how you want to live and relate to others—whether that means deepening your relationship with yourself, growing closer to others, reimagining current relationships, developing new ones, or compassionately parting ways.
Fulfilling relationships require more than love. They require two people who can be grounded in themselves while remaining open to each other—able to express their wants, needs, and boundaries, influence and be influenced, and consciously negotiate a relationship that works for both.
Many of us have embodied different, even contradictory rules about who we're supposed to be and how relationships should work. Following those rules may leave us unfulfilled, while rejecting them can leave us without a clear sense of what to build in their place.
I believe authenticity, self-love, personal responsibility, and agency are essential to navigating this uncertainty. At the heart of my work is helping people develop a compassionate, secure relationship with themselves—what I call self-attachment. From this foundation, we become better equipped to recognize what truly matters to us, take responsibility for our choices, and remain open to the needs and influence of those we love.
Therapy with me is active, experiential, collaborative, and, I'm not gonna lie, often intense. I'm not the stereotypical “How do you feel about that?” therapist, nodding sagely from across the room. I am candid, intuitive, compassionate, playful, and, I've heard, just the right amount of pushy. I'll lead when you need direction, challenge you when you're stuck, and respect your autonomy every step of the way. I bring my real, whole self into our work—shadow and light—and continually invite you to do the same.
I do this because meaningful change requires more than understanding ourselves intellectually. It means learning to experience and embrace parts of ourselves we may have spent a lifetime avoiding—anger, sadness, vulnerability, selfishness, desire, and even joy. I'll help you venture into unfamiliar emotional territory, discover that you can tolerate what you find there, and develop the confidence to express yourself more fully.
Much of this happens in the present moment, where familiar patterns emerge and we can experiment with new ways of responding. Together, we'll explore what's happening within you and, if partnered, between you, practice expressing wants, needs, and boundaries, and develop new ways of listening, connecting, and negotiating. Sometimes we'll heal old wounds; other times, we'll expand possibilities for emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual intimacy.
My aim is to help you develop the skills, agency, and compassion to live and love consciously, according to negotiated “rules” that serve you and those you love.
I also integrate parts work/IFS and offer EMDR to help process traumatic experiences that continue to shape your life and relationships.
More intimacy. Less struggle. Greater freedom to be yourselves.
Whether you're caught in painful patterns, navigating betrayal or life transitions, struggling with desire or intimacy, or questioning your compatibility or commitment, we'll explore what each of you needs to thrive. Perhaps you're considering marriage, children, or a different relationship structure—or simply wondering what's possible beyond the relationship you have today.
I work with couples across orientations and relationship structures—queer, straight, monogamous, ethically non-monogamous, and everything in between. Most of the couples I see are in their mid-30s through their 60s and beyond. My work focuses on expanding emotional, physical, sexual, and energetic intimacy; strengthening communication, consent, and trust; and negotiating agreements that genuinely serve everyone involved.
Sometimes that means transforming your relationship. Sometimes it means discovering that compassionate separation is the healthiest path forward.
Change your relationship with yourself. Change what's possible with others.
You don't need a partner to work on relationships. As a Couple and Family Therapist, I approach individual therapy through a relational and systemic lens, exploring how your relationships with yourself, your parts, your family, your history, and the wider world shape your experience.
We'll work to develop self-attachment, access emotions and desires, heal attachment injuries, and explore the patterns and beliefs that may be limiting your freedom. This includes navigating ENM and other relationship challenges, strengthening agency and boundaries, and discovering what you truly want from your life and relationships.
Our work isn't only about resolving problems. It's also about exploring your every changing identity, reconnecting with your hopes, dreams, and motivations, challenging perceived limitations, and discovering new possibilities for authenticity, adventure, and fulfillment.
Sometimes you need more than an hour at a time.
Intensives provide dedicated time to explore complex relationship challenges without the interruptions and limitations of weekly sessions.
We might focus on recurring conflict, emotional regulation, intimacy and desire, relationship viability, or the complexities of ENM/polyamory—including motivations, agreements, boundaries, and commitments.
Together, we'll work through difficult conversations, clarify individual and shared priorities, and develop concrete strategies and implementation plans for moving forward. Whether you're hoping to reconnect, redesign your relationship, or make a difficult decision together, an intensive offers the space to engage deeply and make meaningful progress.
Let your past become part of your story, rather than something that keeps running your life.
Traumatic experiences can continue to shape how we feel, respond, and relate long after they're over. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps people process distressing memories so they become less emotionally overwhelming.
I offer EMDR as a focused, adjunctive therapy, including extended sessions and intensives. I also integrate parts work/IFS and other approaches to support people who find trauma work especially difficult or overwhelming.
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